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Mysterious Grinch-Like Figure Seen Stealing Spring Break

A mysterious green figure has been sighted roaming around Gainesville and stealing Spring Break. This has come shortly following...

Business Major Narrowly Escapes Pyramid Scheme

 Senior business major Blake Wolf has managed to escape a pyramid scheme and serious charges. He agreed to speak to The Crocodile...

UF Deletes all Social Media Accounts besides TikTok

In an unexpected turn of events, the University of Florida has deactivated its Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and even Linkedin accounts, leaving TikTok as the university’s...

Gators Football to Become Contactless Sport

The UF sports community felt shockwaves over the announcement that college football will become a contactless sport. The news comes after claims...

Honors Student Chokes to Death on Own Ego

Honors student and computer science freshman Emilia Emsworth recently passed away after she choked to death on her own ego.

Recent UF Grad Unhireable Due to Lack of 10 Years Experience

When one student recently graduated from the University of Florida with a degree in literature she soon realized her past four years...

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Cicerone Walks Backwards Through Graduation

Amidst the graduation ceremonies this week, one student made waves by letting an unusual habit kick in during commencement. Gary Callio, 22, was graduating Suma Cum...

An open letter to the Alligator: will you be my Valentine?

Hi Alligator, I know our past has been rocky and we have a host of differences. I don’t report on crimes, print every day, or...

Report: Group project has now turned into solo project

A final group project for an introduction to speaking class seems to have rapidly transformed into a final solo project for one freshman student,...

Study: FSU students talk about Gators more than UF students

Results from a recent study show that the average Florida State University student talks about the Gators significantly more than University of Florida students. “That...

UFPD Stops Underground Scooter Racing Ring

A UFPD spokesman announced that they had stopped a heinous crime ring this week, by exposing a gang of scooter racing deviants on campus. “We...

Tropical storm most exciting thing to happen in Gainesville over summer

In an unexpected turn of events, something interesting has happened in Gainesville over the summer with the landfall of a tropical storm. Tropical Storm Colin,...

UF To add 1 new parking spot

UF administration is making a “bold new move” in relieving one of the biggest concerns amongst students on campus. The associate director of UF...

Stranger in Marston Vows to Defend Laptop To His Dying Breath

A stranger has reportedly entrusted another stranger with the responsibility of defending their laptop against the thieving hands of other strangers in Marston Library. English...