Stranger in Marston Vows to Defend Laptop To His Dying Breath
A stranger has reportedly entrusted another stranger with the responsibility of defending their laptop against the thieving hands of other strangers in Marston Library. English...
The Really Independent Florida Crocodile
UF Infirmary to Offer Jello/Flu Shot Combos
With flu season kicking off, the UF Student Health Care Center has created a new initiative to motivate more UF students into getting their flu...
Penalty Flag Shortage Reported After Florida vs Georgia Game
The NCAA has declared a state of emergency this week after the organization’s entire stock of penalty flags were used at the UF vs. UGA...
Oaks Mall Already Sold Out of Winter Wear
A recent chill in the air has sent all Gainesville residents, especially UF students, running to the Oaks Mall to prepare. Due to the influx...
Portal to Hell Found in Little Hall Bathroom
In news unsurprising to anyone who has ever entered a Little Hall bathroom, a demonic force has reportedly ripped open the fabric or space-time and...
Late Guy in Suit Really Wants Class to Know He Had Interview
According to his Intro to Accounting class, one student burst in through the door of his 23 minutes after the lecture had begun, and made...
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