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Gators v. Aggies Game Officially Worst Part of 2020

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2020 has proven itself to be a historically devastating year. After enduring months of natural disasters, socio political unrest, and a...
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PaCE Program Expected To Be Fully Online In Spring

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Students have become increasingly concerned about health and safety as coronavirus cases continue to rise in Alachua County. After months of speculation...
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Mysterious Grinch-Like Figure Seen Stealing Spring Break

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A mysterious green figure has been sighted roaming around Gainesville and stealing Spring Break. This has come shortly following...
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Business Major Narrowly Escapes Pyramid Scheme

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 Senior business major Blake Wolf has managed to escape a pyramid scheme and serious charges. He agreed to speak to The Crocodile...
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UF Deletes all Social Media Accounts besides TikTok

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In an unexpected turn of events, the University of Florida has deactivated its Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and even Linkedin accounts, leaving TikTok as the university’s...
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Gators Football to Become Contactless Sport

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The UF sports community felt shockwaves over the announcement that college football will become a contactless sport. The news comes after claims...
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Local dad makes billionth joke about Weed Science building

After years of being relentlessly mocked by faculty and passersby alike, The Institute of Food and Agricultural Science’s Weed Science building celebrated the telling of...
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Portal to Hell Found in Little Hall Bathroom

In news unsurprising to anyone who has ever entered a Little Hall bathroom, a demonic force has reportedly ripped open the fabric or space-time...
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Engineering Master’s Student Unable to Change Flat Tire

Masters of Engineering student Johnathan Khaling was stranded for hours on Archer Road Thursday after the left front tire of his Toyota Camry ran...
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Report: Group project has now turned into solo project

A final group project for an introduction to speaking class seems to have rapidly transformed into a final solo project for one freshman student,...
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UF commits blood sacrifice to appease U.S. News and World Report ranking gods

The University of Florida has been steadily climbing the U.S. News and World Report rankings over the past few years, and this month, the...
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Study Group Fails Exam But Makes Lifelong Friendships

UF’s record for longest continuous joint study session was recently set by a collection of students who came together to prepare for the first...
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UFPD Stops Underground Scooter Racing Ring

A UFPD spokesman announced that they had stopped a heinous crime ring this week, by exposing a gang of scooter racing deviants on campus. “We...
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Classmate You Thought Was Exotic Actually From Ocala

In a shocking turn of events, that girl you talked to that one time in your class who seemed to clearly be exotic, was...
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