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Entirety of UF Campus Closed for Construction

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that they would be taking on another massive construction project. Said to be their most...

Rejected Gators Allowed to Pay for Cardboard Cut-out in Lecture Hall

Hope is not lost for the 37,293 students rejected from the University of Florida mid-February. For the cost of an application fee,...

Century Tower Debuts “Chill Lo-Fi Bell Tones To Study To”

With exams on the horizon, and the consant hordes of students commuting across campus to study, complete an onslaught of assignments, University...

Marston Gator Falls Victim To Superior Towing

It was an image that will stay burned in their minds of those who witnessed it for the rest of time. Some...

Freshman Really Loving Getting to Swear in Fiction Workshop

A local UF freshman is really enjoying getting to swear in his undergrad introductory fiction writing workshop. Billy Baxter,...

Gators v. Aggies Game Officially Worst Part of 2020

2020 has proven itself to be a historically devastating year. After enduring months of natural disasters, socio political unrest, and a...

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SG Political Debate Derails Thanksgiving Dinner

UF freshman Jenna Laughlin knew the political debate was inevitable when she sat down to Thanksgiving dinner. “Especially in this political climate, debates should be...

Mom’s Inspirational Gift Really Turns Semester Around

One Mom’s gift to her son at the University of Florida really seems to have made an impact on his semester, according to a...

UF commits blood sacrifice to appease U.S. News and World Report ranking gods

The University of Florida has been steadily climbing the U.S. News and World Report rankings over the past few years, and this month, the...

Freshman Experiences First Day of Rainesville Jokes

A freshman has finally been initiated as a UF student after being treated to his first day of hearing the entire student body’s exhausted...

Late Guy in Suit Really Wants Class to Know He Had Interview

According to his Intro to Accounting class, one student burst in through the door of his 23 minutes after the lecture had begun, and...

Tropical storm most exciting thing to happen in Gainesville over summer

In an unexpected turn of events, something interesting has happened in Gainesville over the summer with the landfall of a tropical storm. Tropical Storm Colin,...

An open letter to the Alligator: will you be my Valentine?

Hi Alligator, I know our past has been rocky and we have a host of differences. I don’t report on crimes, print every day, or...

Professor offers 1 word reply to student’s desperate 10 paragraph email

After a debaucherous night at Midtown, freshman political science major Nathan Cook awoke in a haze Thursday morning to discover that he had completely...