Breaking: Turlington Missionaries Convert Each Other
A three-hour religious debate which erupted in Turlington Plaza between Jehovah’s Witness missionary Jethro White and Mormon preacher Josef Smithson ended in two tearful religious...
The Really Independent Florida Crocodile
UF Admits to Vaping; Becomes 10x Cooler
Some say UF was vaping before it was cool. The university has confirmed our suspicions by announcing that they will implement vape stations around campus...
“A Nightmare on SW 13th Street”: UF’s Own Horror Movie Coming Soon
New Line Cinema has begun filming of their new horror film, “A Nightmare on SW 13th Street”, on site at the University of Florida. Details...
Bus Swamped, Wants To Meet Up Another Day
Bus 2305 is so, so sorry, but it has way too much going on, and it can’t give you a ride right now. It knows it...
Steroids: Feleipe Franks Makes the Right Call
Following a failed trade and an embarrassing homecoming loss to the University of Missouri, Florida quarterback Feleipe Franks has turned to steroids as a last...
Op Ed: Now Is the Time
It’s time for a change. We’ve all been waiting for it — putting up with this nonsense and dreaming of a day when everything will...
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