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Breaking: Nerdy Girl In Class Takes Off Glasses, Lets Down Hair

LITTLE HALL - Local nerdy girl, and chemical engineering sophomore, Susan Bennett, shocked her entire class when she showed up to class...

UF and LSU Expected to Kiss and Make Up at this Week’s Game

With UF’s next away game against LSU around the corner, sources are saying that this match may look a little different than...

Team Of Loveable Misfits Solves Murder Mystery, Fails Group Project

TURLINGTON - Against all odds, and after weeks of hard work and single-minded effort, a ragtag team of loveable misfits has succeeded...

Biochem Professor Forgets to Unmute For Entire Semester

“I have literally not learned anything,” confided student Sarah Rangesh earlier this morning, when the penny finally dropped. “We are all definitely...

UF To Require All Incoming Freshmen To Be Over 6 Feet Tall

In a decision that “Definitely has nothing to do with being in the Top 5,” according to President Fuchs, UF is now...

Entirety of UF Campus Closed for Construction

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that they would be taking on another massive construction project. Said to be their most...

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Croc Favs

An open letter to the Alligator: will you be my Valentine?

Hi Alligator, I know our past has been rocky and we have a host of differences. I don’t report on crimes, print every day, or...

Study Group Fails Exam But Makes Lifelong Friendships

UF’s record for longest continuous joint study session was recently set by a collection of students who came together to prepare for the first...

LSU Tigers Added to Endangered Species List

Scientists and amateur football analysts have recently made the decision to add the LSU Tigers to the list of endangered animals and mascots. Their addition...

Harvard Declares Itself ‘UF of the North’

After being declared a top eight private school, Harvard, a research university located in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is proud to adopt a new title: ”The...

Breaking: Treon Harris under investigation after eating Flintstones vitamin

In the wake of Will Grier’s recent suspension for the use of performance-enhancing drugs, it is now Florida’s new starting quarterback Treon Harris who...

Local Band Hare Krishna Drops New Single

For the first time since their 1965 MTV Music Video award for song of the year, local band Hare Krishna plans to release a...

UFPD Stops Underground Scooter Racing Ring

A UFPD spokesman announced that they had stopped a heinous crime ring this week, by exposing a gang of scooter racing deviants on campus. “We...

Alumni Takes Out Loan for UF Giving Day

UF Giving Day is one of the most important days of the year for students and alumni. That’s why 2018 grad...