Local Bus Dies After “Full Bus” Sign Ignored
This past Wednesday, tragedy struck the University of Florida campus when public transportation vehicle Jerry Busenstein passed away. Campus police cars reported the cause of...
The Really Independent Florida Crocodile
Turlington Preacher Yells “I’m Right You’re Wrong” for 10 Days Straight; Vanishes
After ten full days of nonstop shouting, the Turlington Preacher has vanished without a trace. Before his disappearance, the preacher could be seen relentlessly yelling “I’m right!...
Study: 90% of Gainesville Tinder Users Mistake Liking Dogs for Personality Trait
A new study held by the University’s Psychology Department has found that more than 90% of female Tinder users in the greater Gainesville area incorrectly...
Couple Celebrates Valentine’s Day by Taking Up Whole Sidewalk
Freshman couple Bob Donahugh and Olivia Thompson, or “Bolivia” as they wish to be known caused a stir this morning with their Valentine’s Day stroll....
Gatorade’s Secret Ingredient Revealed to Be Freshman Tears
After years of speculation, Gatorade identified its main thirst-quenching ingredient in a press release last Wednesday. The company revealed that they’ve been harvesting and bottling...
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