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Team Of Loveable Misfits Solves Murder Mystery, Fails Group Project

TURLINGTON - Against all odds, and after weeks of hard work and single-minded effort, a ragtag team of loveable misfits has succeeded...

Biochem Professor Forgets to Unmute For Entire Semester

“I have literally not learned anything,” confided student Sarah Rangesh earlier this morning, when the penny finally dropped. “We are all definitely...

UF To Require All Incoming Freshmen To Be Over 6 Feet Tall

In a decision that “Definitely has nothing to do with being in the Top 5,” according to President Fuchs, UF is now...

Entirety of UF Campus Closed for Construction

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that they would be taking on another massive construction project. Said to be their most...

Rejected Gators Allowed to Pay for Cardboard Cut-out in Lecture Hall

Hope is not lost for the 37,293 students rejected from the University of Florida mid-February. For the cost of an application fee,...

Century Tower Debuts “Chill Lo-Fi Bell Tones To Study To”

With exams on the horizon, and the consant hordes of students commuting across campus to study, complete an onslaught of assignments, University...

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BREAKING: Reitz Union votes to leave UF

After a recent poll, the residents of the Reitz Union have voted to leave the University of Florida. The results of the poll have shocked...

Good Life student reaches enlightenment

  After completing his Analytical Essay the Sunday night before it was due, “What is the Good Life?” student Tyler Oram successfully found enlightenment. In...

Cicerone Walks Backwards Through Graduation

Amidst the graduation ceremonies this week, one student made waves by letting an unusual habit kick in during commencement. Gary Callio, 22, was graduating Suma Cum...

Local dad makes billionth joke about Weed Science building

After years of being relentlessly mocked by faculty and passersby alike, The Institute of Food and Agricultural Science’s Weed Science building celebrated the telling of...

Alabama fan to brush tooth before SEC game

In order to get dressed up for the SEC Championship game, University of Alabama student Cletus Dunlop has decided to brush his tooth Friday...

Alumni Takes Out Loan for UF Giving Day

UF Giving Day is one of the most important days of the year for students and alumni. That’s why 2018 grad...

Senior forgets to take picture with Bull Gator, not allowed to graduate

One fewer Gator will be receiving their diploma during this spring’s graduation ceremony after a student made one tragic mistake this past week. Jennifer McMahey,...

LSU Tigers Added to Endangered Species List

Scientists and amateur football analysts have recently made the decision to add the LSU Tigers to the list of endangered animals and mascots. Their addition...