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Broward Dining Attempts Emily Mariko Rice

“Hashtag fresh!” yelled a beaming board member outside the doors of Broward Dining Hall last week. “More like for YUM page!” 

Breaking: Nerdy Girl In Class Takes Off Glasses, Lets Down Hair

LITTLE HALL - Local nerdy girl, and chemical engineering sophomore, Susan Bennett, shocked her entire class when she showed up to class...

Team Of Loveable Misfits Solves Murder Mystery, Fails Group Project

TURLINGTON - Against all odds, and after weeks of hard work and single-minded effort, a ragtag team of loveable misfits has succeeded...

Biochem Professor Forgets to Unmute For Entire Semester

“I have literally not learned anything,” confided student Sarah Rangesh earlier this morning, when the penny finally dropped. “We are all definitely...

UF To Require All Incoming Freshmen To Be Over 6 Feet Tall

In a decision that “Definitely has nothing to do with being in the Top 5,” according to President Fuchs, UF is now...

Entirety of UF Campus Closed for Construction

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that they would be taking on another massive construction project. Said to be their most...

Rejected Gators Allowed to Pay for Cardboard Cut-out in Lecture Hall

Hope is not lost for the 37,293 students rejected from the University of Florida mid-February. For the cost of an application fee,...

Century Tower Debuts “Chill Lo-Fi Bell Tones To Study To”

With exams on the horizon, and the consant hordes of students commuting across campus to study, complete an onslaught of assignments, University...

Marston Gator Falls Victim To Superior Towing

It was an image that will stay burned in their minds of those who witnessed it for the rest of time. Some...