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Business Major Narrowly Escapes Pyramid Scheme

 Senior business major Blake Wolf has managed to escape a pyramid scheme and serious charges. He agreed to speak to The Crocodile...

UF Deletes all Social Media Accounts besides TikTok

In an unexpected turn of events, the University of Florida has deactivated its Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and even Linkedin accounts, leaving TikTok as the university’s...

Gators Football to Become Contactless Sport

The UF sports community felt shockwaves over the announcement that college football will become a contactless sport. The news comes after claims...

Honors Student Chokes to Death on Own Ego

Honors student and computer science freshman Emilia Emsworth recently passed away after she choked to death on her own ego.

Recent UF Grad Unhireable Due to Lack of 10 Years Experience

When one student recently graduated from the University of Florida with a degree in literature she soon realized her past four years...

Ancient Clay Tablet Reveals Preview Staffer Origins

A research team from the University of Florida’s archaeology department has discovered a clay tablet that sheds light on the elusive origin...

Luxury Gainesville Apartment Only Has One Roach

As development overtakes Gainesville, yet another luxury apartment has been built near Midtown. However, this complex is being praised for offering something...

Student Finally Quits Quarantine Hobby

One psychology junior said she vowed to use her time in quarantine to finally pick up a hobby, do something productive, or...

Larry’s Giant Subs Unveils Final 25 Foot Sandwich as Farewell

For over 20 years, Larry’s Giant Subs has been a Gainesville staple - serving carb-based foods to drunk people at 4 a.m....