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Horrifying: FSU Flag Found Inside Halloween Candy

While the rest of us spend Halloween with family and friends, enjoying tricks and treats, some lurk in the shadows, intent on...

Plant Sentenced to Death on Dorm Windowsill

A local coleus was selected from a UF plant drop, blissfully unaware that being handled by exploratory freshman Kendra Cotton is synonymous with certain...

Ominous Broadcast Interrupts Homecoming Game

Yesterday morning, the football stadium was ablaze in orange and blue colors as fans cheered and music played. Suddenly, silence fell as...

Depressed Student Eats Subway Five Days in a Row

A geology sophomore was recently spotted at the Rawlings Subway, the saddest Subway of them all, a full five days in a...

Krishna Ditches Refills, Causes Local Recession

The city of Gainesville has been consumed by a frenzy of unemployment, inflation and rising store prices after Krishna lunch ruled out...

UF Health Requiring Students Verify Covid Status with Pinky Swear

In the interest of protecting the health and welfare of students, UF Health has implemented a new protocol for validating data gathered...

Engineering Student Reinvents Wheel

Sophomore engineering students Cody Sinclair and Marc Thompkins have broken ground with a brand-new invention. “You know the saying,...

Broward Dining Attempts Emily Mariko Rice

“Hashtag fresh!” yelled a beaming board member outside the doors of Broward Dining Hall last week. “More like for YUM page!” 

Breaking: Nerdy Girl In Class Takes Off Glasses, Lets Down Hair

LITTLE HALL - Local nerdy girl, and chemical engineering sophomore, Susan Bennett, shocked her entire class when she showed up to class...