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Team Of Loveable Misfits Solves Murder Mystery, Fails Group Project

TURLINGTON - Against all odds, and after weeks of hard work and single-minded effort, a ragtag team of loveable misfits has succeeded...

Biochem Professor Forgets to Unmute For Entire Semester

“I have literally not learned anything,” confided student Sarah Rangesh earlier this morning, when the penny finally dropped. “We are all definitely...

UF To Require All Incoming Freshmen To Be Over 6 Feet Tall

In a decision that “Definitely has nothing to do with being in the Top 5,” according to President Fuchs, UF is now...

Entirety of UF Campus Closed for Construction

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that they would be taking on another massive construction project. Said to be their most...

Rejected Gators Allowed to Pay for Cardboard Cut-out in Lecture Hall

Hope is not lost for the 37,293 students rejected from the University of Florida mid-February. For the cost of an application fee,...

Century Tower Debuts “Chill Lo-Fi Bell Tones To Study To”

With exams on the horizon, and the consant hordes of students commuting across campus to study, complete an onslaught of assignments, University...

Marston Gator Falls Victim To Superior Towing

It was an image that will stay burned in their minds of those who witnessed it for the rest of time. Some...

Freshman Really Loving Getting to Swear in Fiction Workshop

A local UF freshman is really enjoying getting to swear in his undergrad introductory fiction writing workshop. Billy Baxter,...

Gators v. Aggies Game Officially Worst Part of 2020

2020 has proven itself to be a historically devastating year. After enduring months of natural disasters, socio political unrest, and a...