John L

I wasn’t going to write a bio but I had it open on my phone and I slipped on a banana peel and my hands were kind of wet so I accidentally uploaded my photo and typed all this out.

Electric Skateboarders Deem Themselves Essential Service

Citing themselves as the most important organization on campus, members of Gainesville’s electric skateboard community have declared themselves essential workers in an effort...

Feral Alligators Assume Control Over Empty Gainesville

With Gainesville a veritable ghost town during the summer of COVID-19, an army of alligators, thousands-strong, has reportedly taken control of all...

UF Campus to be Demolished, Replaced with Luxury Apartments

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that it has sold the entirety of its campus to luxury apartment developer, Bertram Construction, LLC. The news came...

Dennis Discovered Living in Highly Unstable “Dimension D” 

After years of conjecture, UF physicists have confirmed the existence of “Dimension D", the home of Dennis, otherwise known as “the Turlington dancer” or “the short shorts guy.”  The dimension...