A mysterious green figure has been sighted roaming around Gainesville and stealing Spring Break.

This has come shortly following the announcement that the University of Florida would be cancelling Spring Break and adding a week of Christmas break in its stead. It is unknown at this time whether this figure is in some way affiliated with the University of Florida and its Board of Directors.

The figure has been described as being a male standing roughly 6’2 with green hair covering his entire body, a thin neck, and a prominent potbelly. Eyewitness reports state he is often seen wearing a Hawaiian shirt with no pants and a bucket hat, in an attempt to resemble a typical Florida spring breaker.

Gainesville chief of police Doug Boot had this to say:

“The perpetrator’s MO is that they slither down chimneys and take all of the stuff we need for spring break, thereby symbolically stealing spring break itself… He’s doing his best to ruin our plans. He took all the beer bottles and all of the cans. He took the Spring pudding, he stole the Spring Ham, he took all the White Claws and the last can of Spring Spam.”

“Whoever is doing this sure is a mean one. They’ve got spiders in their soul. If I had to pick between them and a seasick alligator, I’d of course pick the alligator.”

Gainesville residents are urged to join hands in the town square and sing the traditional spring break song, Mo Bamba, to prove that spring break can’t be bought at a store and that perhaps, in fact, it means a little bit more.