Epimethius

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Gators Continue Trend of Hiring Coaches That Look Like Your Dad

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The Gators have found a new Head Coach for the football team in Dan Mullen. There were other strong candidates for the position but...
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Dorm Christmas Lights Still Slightly Out of Season

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The midst of November can mean only one thing. Next month billions of college girls’ dorms will finally be decorated appropriately. Jennifer Kelly’s Christmas lights...
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Freshman Buys Guitar Just to Make Friends

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Freshmen, much like dogs and Bachelor contestants, just want to be loved. One freshman, Eric Jon Bovi, decided buying a guitar would be the...
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McElwain’s Hair to Remain on Coaching Staff

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The UF Athletic Department announced they would be firing Head Football Coach Jim McElwain on Saturday. However, they were able to keep a key...
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Dad Offered Comedy Special After Getting 1 Laugh on Campus Tour

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Eight puns, two knock-knock jokes, three FSU jabs, two elbow nudges, and one practical joke later it finally happened. Someone on the campus tour...
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UF Recommends Also Watching Quarterbacks With Eclipse Glasses

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With the solar eclipse today, most students have bought bought glasses that will show them everything in darkness except the sun. UF announced today...
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Girl With Walking Boot Just Trying Not to Shave Leg

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Spring has officially arrived and Spring Fashion is in full force on UF’s campus this spring. One of the most stylish items this season...
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Engineering Master’s Student Unable to Change Flat Tire

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Masters of Engineering student Johnathan Khaling was stranded for hours on Archer Road Thursday after the left front tire of his Toyota Camry ran...
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