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Local Band Hare Krishna Drops New Single

For the first time since their 1965 MTV Music Video award for song of the year, local band Hare Krishna plans to release a...

Classmate Who Ruined Grade Curve Now Missing

Breaking news by UFPD reports that straight A student Arnold Madison has suspiciously been reported missing only days after Madison dramatically altered the grade...

Single Cloud to Delay LSU Game

Erratic weather is once again affecting the chances of UF playing rival LSU. It was reported by SEC Network Analyst that a single cloud...

Medical Pumpkin Spice Latte Now Legal in Florida

After a close vote in the polls, medical pumpkin spice lattes are now legal in Florida. Gainesville citizens are already celebrating the victory. “I finally...

UF Advising Office Turned Into Haunted House

After much discussion Halloween Horror Nights has decided to add one of the scariest places at UF to its list of haunted attractions: The...

Classmate You Thought Was Exotic Actually From Ocala

In a shocking turn of events, that girl you talked to that one time in your class who seemed to clearly be exotic, was...

UF Gets Revenge by Counseling Prank Callers

The UF counseling hotline has announced today that they have counselled more people in the history of the university in one day after responding...

UF Homecoming Parade Gets Stuck Behind RTS Bus

UF Parade Analysts have announced that the homecoming parade scheduled for this afternoon will be delayed at least 4 hours due to being stuck...