Syllabus Week Stood Up by 55,862 Students


After nearly five whole days of sending texts with no response, Syllabus Week is very disheartened by her rejection from the over 55,000 students who left her on read.

Despite months-old plans for a first date on January 7th, Syllabus Week was stood-up by the entirety of the UF student body.

“They all tell me ‘Can’t wait ’til January! It’ll be so much fun!’”, said Syllabus Week. “But then they just forget about me, or write me off. And I just come crawling back three months later. It’s pathetic really.”

At universities around the country, Syllabus Week is known for being far too forgiving. Since there are no real repercussions for skipping out on her, students tend to spend their time getting settled in or catching up with college friends instead.

Syllabus Week, clearly hurt by such a huge rejection, cycled between fits of bawling and rage for the entirety of her stay at UF. She explained how she sent out canvas notifications and professor e-mails hoping that it would make students think of her and regret their decisions.

“I hold out hope that they’ll respond, even though they didn’t the first 20 times, and all I get is read receipts” said Syllabus Week. “Then when I check my Insta, I see them out having fun without me, and what hashtag are they using? Sylly Week. It’s so disrespectful.”

At press time, some students had shown up about a week after their scheduled first date—long after Syllabus Week had moped her way home. Some students have reported regretting not taking Syllabus Week seriously, after realizing they’re stuck with an awful 7:25.

Syllabus Week told us she’s willing to give students another chance next semester, though she’s trying to keep her expectations low. Before then, her brother Finals Week is planning to visit campus to beat up anyone who didn’t take his little sister seriously.


Syllabus Week Stood Up by 55,862 Students

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