Epimethius

Articles

Local Band Hare Krishna Drops New Single

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For the first time since their 1965 MTV Music Video award for song of the year, local band Hare Krishna plans to release a...
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Classmate Who Ruined Grade Curve Now Missing

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Breaking news by UFPD reports that straight A student Arnold Madison has suspiciously been reported missing only days after Madison dramatically altered the grade...
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Single Cloud to Delay LSU Game

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Erratic weather is once again affecting the chances of UF playing rival LSU. It was reported by SEC Network Analyst that a single cloud...
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Medical Pumpkin Spice Latte Now Legal in Florida

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After a close vote in the polls, medical pumpkin spice lattes are now legal in Florida. Gainesville citizens are already celebrating the victory. “I finally...
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UF Advising Office Turned Into Haunted House

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After much discussion Halloween Horror Nights has decided to add one of the scariest places at UF to its list of haunted attractions: The...
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Classmate You Thought Was Exotic Actually From Ocala

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In a shocking turn of events, that girl you talked to that one time in your class who seemed to clearly be exotic, was...
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UF Gets Revenge by Counseling Prank Callers

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The UF counseling hotline has announced today that they have counselled more people in the history of the university in one day after responding...
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UF Homecoming Parade Gets Stuck Behind RTS Bus

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UF Parade Analysts have announced that the homecoming parade scheduled for this afternoon will be delayed at least 4 hours due to being stuck...
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