According to recent reports from the National Offensive Athletic Association, or “NOAA”, the Miami hurricanes matchup with FSU on October 8th has been rescheduled for this weekend.
The reason for this surprise announcement is unknown, however analysts have reported that a sudden, extreme drop in pressure from officials can often lead to this kind of sudden change in schedule.
“Since I never had much success at Georgia, I decided to take a different approach with my coaching techniques,”
Said Hurricanes head coach Mark Richt.
“After studying of all things, meteorology, I realized that the way to win is through surprise attacks.”
FSU and Tallahassee have been in a panic since the announcement. Their team had been solely focused on preparing for their upcoming loss to Ole Miss. The Seminole’s head coach said that the worst part for their team was being forced watch the Miami Hurricanes growing and getting stronger every day.
Unfortunately, angry mobs have formed across Tallahassee in light of the announcement. Residents have been urged to remain in their mobile homes and stay away from FSU fans, especially those wearing backwards snapbacks.
Also, Leon county jail inmate work crews have been hard at work since this morning, removing the immense amount of garbage and scrap metal strewn throughout the city, which could be used as potential projectiles.
“We haven’t ever done something like this, but these are extreme circumstances,”
Stated an AP sports editor. Even Florida Governor Rick Scott is concerned, who is considering announcing a state of emergency.
“Everyone should still go, but we’re definitely expecting the worst.”
The ACC hopes FSU will be able to remain competitive in coming seasons, even though a flood of bad press may hinder recruiting goals following the loss.
