The UF sports community felt shockwaves over the announcement that college football will become a contactless sport. The news comes after claims that tackling a player to the ground is “kind of mean”’ and has “bad vibes.”
“The University of Florida is proud to have such amazing athletes on our football team,”
said Gators spokesperson Jason Che.
“We know our players are skilled enough to win without physically touching anyone. This has nothing to do with the pandemic. They’re just that good.”
Some UF students had a difficult time comprehending this news.
“I find it hard to believe this decision is unrelated to coronavirus,”
Art history junior Mike Brooks said.
“I’ve heard rumors the football will be sewn out of Clorox wipes.”
However, other students agreed with the university’s decision to change the game.
“I think football in general is lame,”
Physics freshman Hannah Riley proudly told the Crocodile.
“It’s been great to watch the normies freak out. An intellectual such as I discusses important things, for example, my high school class rank.”
After much back and forth debate with UF officials, some students decided they no longer wish to attend the University of Florida.
“I came to this school to watch football, pregame for football, and talk about football,”
Senior marketing major Jackson Lowe told us.
“Now that my only personality traits are gone, I have to transfer to FSU.”
When asked for an additional response, the University of Florida sent a vague email about “unprecedented times.”