After years of merciless ticketing and ruthless radar gunning, the University of Florida Police Department has finally been conquered.
These cops are relentless,”
commented Gainesville Police Department’s Chief of Police, Mark Wilson. “We’ve seen them pull over bikers for going down a hill too fast and scooter owners for not putting on a helmet quick enough when they start their scooters. It’s brutal.”
UFPD is known around campus for ticketing jaywalkers when there are no cars on the road and for blaring their police sirens at the station for no reason.
The reign of UFPD finally ended when local GPD cop, John Ross, pulled over Officer Moody on the corner of Museum Rd and Newell Dr.
He was going 22 in a 20 and I knew it was my duty to give these students the justice they deserve. I did the right thing,”
said Officer Ross.
When asked to comment, Officer Moody was unintelligible through his cries of “it’s not fair” and “fuck the po-lice”.
Officer Moody was charged $27 and a frowny face was added to his “end of the day” report to be signed by his wife.
UFPD sent out an official statement early this morning stating that they claim responsibility for the party ticketed and they will be punished accordingly. In addition, they restated their original policy wherein they explain why UFPD is not allowed to leave the premises of the campus because they are such a goddamn nuisance.
