The Panhellenic Council has announced this week that they’ll be replacing some of the older traditions of sorority recruitment with a brand new standardized testing process which every hopeful sister will have to take.
The test, which has been named the “Sorority Recruitment Assessment Test,” or “SRAT,” is part of a new effort to make the rush process easier for the sorority sisters after they reported higher than usual rates of wedge blisters and sprained cheek muscles.
“I’m so glad they finally thought of something to take the pressure off us girls,”
Said Alpha Sigma Sigma President Sarah Berns,
“Now I just have to collect scantrons instead of trying to find the perfect shade of concealer to cover my hangover.”
The test will combine the usual questions of rush like “What do you do in your free time?” and “What’s your favorite Lilly Pullitzer pattern?” with more advanced questions that have been designed to match the girl with their perfect house or disqualify them from the process entirely. There will even be a free-response section where each rushee will have to provide a design proposal for a new student government t-shirt.
“I think it’s a pretty good idea overall, it’s definitely unique,”
Said potential SRAT taker Julia Karr,
“I just don’t know if I’m prepared. Does Kate Spade make pencil bags?”
The new test is in its first phases of production, but it is already receiving national recognition for selecting girls without seeing them in person. However, Judy Wayland from the Panhellenic Council has assured the press that they will be ensuring the utmost dignity and grace from the rushers by creating a less-formal but equally as strict dress code,
“The ladies will still be required to wear the annual Panhellenic t-shirt as part of tradition, and to prove their commitment to the sorority lifestyle the test will be taken standing, and in dress shoes of minimum 4-inches high.”
See below for some sample questions and take the test yourself in our magazine, available in campus boxes!
Sorority Recruitment Assessment Testing
Full Name___________ Age___________ Hair Color__________
Question 1: How would you accessorize for a Gator football game?
A) Wedges that I can actually walk in
B) 6 inch heels that I definitely can’t walk in
C) My mom’s converse from ‘88
D) Will Grier’s 100% authentic signed helmet
Question 2: Fill in the blank “I post on Instagram____”
A) Every time I eat at Yogurtology
B) Every day so I can promote my knife selling business
C) Every few weeks because my parents follow me
D) I prefer Snapchat because I want to put the temperature filter over all my pictures at the beach
Question 3: What is your favorite animal?
B) Pedigree Golden Retriever
D) My 14-year-old Basset Hound
Question 4: If x=3, and A=X^2, what does x^2+3 (A/2)=?
C) 3.6x +A
D) I’m a journalism major
Question 5: Which of these events are you most likely to attend?
A) Navy Blokes and Diet Cokes
B) The “Bring a Hot Guest” Summer Fest
C) Astronaut Hotties and Heavenly Bodies
D) The UF VS. LSU home softball game
Free Response: Please draw a picture below of a combination of your favorite 2-3 Greek letters.