You may have thought that the only way to recover from dancing for 26.2 hours in Dance Marathon would be sleep, but you’d be wrong. We have discovered 7 better ways to get back to full energy and get going at 100% on Monday!
1. Sit down for 26.2 hours
Sitting is the opposite of standing, so naturally you should sit for the same amount of time to counteract the fatigue of standing. It’s just basic science. Make sure that you DON’T get up at all during your sitting session (except maybe for a quick dip in the pool) otherwise it won’t count and you’ll have to start all over. Some things to while sitting include looking at things, thinking about things, and scooting across the carpet like a dog with a butt itch.
2. Reinforce your knees with Exactech(tm) joint replacements
You might have noticed that the O’Connell Center is now the EXACTECH(TM) ARENA. This is because Exactech(tm) has a lot of money. How did they get that money? Something science-y with knees or whatever. So my guess is that they know what they’re doing.
3. Finish your homework
Nothing will empty your mind and drain your emotions quite like 15 problems that aren’t even on Quizlet. Focusing on homework will help that your mind off the fatigue and exhaustion, plus you might even get a good grade for once!
4. new socks!!!!!!
this one is self-explanatory
5. Amputate your left leg approximately 2/3 of the way up the tibia
For immediate relief, you’re going to need:
- A 6.5 inch bonesaw
- 2 asprins (extra strength)
- Red hot 10,000 degree spoon (for cauterization)
- Probably a friend to videotape
Start about 2/3 up the tibia, it’s somewhere on the leg like in the middle. Just get to work and power through, it’s all a mind game like chess or gardening.
6. Perform acupuncture with the safety pins from your dancer badge
Acupuncture is an ancient Eastern tradition and Dance Marathon is a semi-recent University of Florida tradition. That’s pretty similar so this will work. Simply bend the sharp ends of the safety pins outward (note: they are called danger pins at this point) and start poking around. Eventually you’ll find that sweet spot and experience immediate relief. Don’t be discouraged if it isn’t working at first, people go to school for years to be able to do it expertly.
7. just start runnin’
I saw a picture on a wooden sign in TJ Maxx that said “worry less, run more.” I think that’s a pretty good sign, and a good quote to boot. I have it in my kitchen now.
