Gainesville wakes up to a freshly fallen blanket of pollen

The children of Gainesville sprung from their beds this morning and dashed to their windows to gaze upon the most picturesque of scenes: a freshly fallen, untouched blanket of pollen cloaking the roads and yards of the entire city.

Residents young and old across Alachua County stepped outside into the warm, humid spring air to feel the soft pollen beneath their feet and the fresh hay fever in their sinuses. Many scooped up balls of the powder to throw at a neighbor, or made plans of taking the family sledding down the pollen-coated slope of Stadium Road.

“There’s really something magical about it,”

commented mother-of-two Lisa Conklin.

“As soon as my kids saw the flurries falling from the sky, they rushed right out the door to see if they could catch one of the powdery sperm-cells on their tongues.”

“The city looks so beautiful veiled in the soft yellow dust,”

commented University of Florida student Alicia Tanner.

“You could almost forget that Gainesville is a disgusting swampland.”

But don’t let the charm of the pure, undisturbed blanket of pollen fool you – allergy season is only beginning.

Over 4 inches of pollen piled up overnight, with predictions of another 18 inches over the next few weeks. Alachua County Schools have already closed for the day, giving the community time to shovel pollen from their driveways and scrape their windshields clean of the powdery residue, but the exceedingly high pollen count elicits memories of seasons past, when Alachua County declared a severe weather emergency after the pollen piled up so much that residents were trapped indoors, and perilous road conditions prevented residents from getting to work or school.

The City of Gainesville has warned residents to stay off the streets in the coming days, but plows are expected to be out in full force across the city, should you need to brave the elements to grab essential supplies like tissues or Sudafed.

Whether you’ll be saddened or relieved when April showers soon wash away our dusty-yellow wonderland, rest assured that this is just the beginning of the Gainesville’s severe weather season. Our forecasts predict flurries of lovebugs that will cake your windshield throughout April and May.