Finals week has arrived and an alarming number of students are still lying in their hammocks.
UF officials have noticed that students are taking a much more lax approach to finals this year. This was confirmed when Venti coffee sales on campus dropped almost 50% from fall semester’s finals week.
“I have no idea how students are expecting to pass their tests without pure caffeine and sugar going through their veins,”
Said Gainesville’s Starbucks Assistant to the Regional Manager, Howard Smoote.
This calm “non-cramming” strategy to finals could backfire on students. A recent study shows relaxing and doing yoga twice a week will lower your final’s grade by 56%.
This statistic hasn’t stopped students from trying to get good grades by being at peace with the universe.
“I just feel like doing the lotus pose would help me more than actually knowing the class material.”
Said Jada Fisher, a UF student who will probably be changing her major from Biochemistry to Poetry.
Not everyone is dismissing this startling statistic when it comes to studying.
“The only reason you should be doing the downward dog position during finals week is to get a better look at your textbook,”
Said Andrew Williams, a TA who suffers from the same ailment as the tinman in The Wizard of Oz.
Professors have also weighed in on students taking it easy for finals.
“Staying calm and not being sleep deprived from studying is probably the worst thing you can do in college,”
Said Health and Well Being Professor Lucy Timinski.
UF thought about banning yoga mats on campus but eventually decided against it. This decision came after realizing the entire student population would probably drop out since most students spend more time doing weird poses on a mat than studying for classes.
UPDATE: One budding yogi has proven us wrong after getting a 95% on her Good Life exam.