A simple marketing event took a turn for the worst this week when UF mascot Alberta was caught in a compromising position with the visiting Yik Yak mascot. Leaked pictures from an undisclosed source show the two getting hot and heavy behind the “Yak Bus.”
Alberta reportedly met the Yak in Turlington, where she was begging for some sweet merch. When she got to the front of the line, however, they were already out of the socks she really wanted. Yak then asked her if she wanted to go check in the bus for any more swag, to which she consented. They were last seen walking toward the bus around 11:30 pm.
The next morning Alberta was seen in the same dress as the night before, carrying her shoes as she headed back to the Swamp where she resides. An angry Albert was there to greet her. They got into a shouting match outside Ben Hill Griffin stadium, and quickly drew a crowd. After things escalated, they both had to be separated by UFPD for their own safety.
As he was being dragged to a holding cell, Albert yelled the following:
You had to take #ridetheyak too seriously, didn’t you, whore? Even after I forgave you for the whole President Machen thing three years ago!
It is unsure what will happen to the iconic Gator couple in the future, but all of Alberta’s belongings were seen strewn outside of the Swamp. Many students are taking sides in the conflict, saying that Alberta was justified in her actions.
“I think what she did was fine.”
One freshman business major said,
I mean, it’s college. Mascots hook up all the time.
The Yak was frustrated by the ordeal, and couldn’t help but feel responsible for ruining Albert and Alberta’s relationship. Yak did make it a point to emphasize that he did use protection so there’s no chance of any surprises in a few months. As he boarded the bus to go to the next college, he was heard muttering,
Man, my yakarma is totally gonna take a hit after this.