Due to the past holiday weekend, UF has seen higher rates than ever in the amount of twenty-something year old alumni coming back to relive their memories.
The influx of alumni led to many current students hosting their acquaintances in their own homes or dorm rooms. Although many students were filled with joy upon the arrival of their newly-employed friends, all were surprised by how much they talked about themselves all weekend.
One recent business graduate, Brandon Berkshire, could be heard by neighbors in his apartment complex all day Saturday explaining the responsibilities of his new job and reminiscing on the days of being a lowly college student.
“I didn’t realize how much I missed this place,”
Said Berkshire.
Is Balls still here? Tell my man Squirrel I’m coming for him.”
Chatter from other alumni about new jobs, engagements, and ‘Mike from accounting’ could be heard within a five mile radius of UF campus, officials say. There was also a sudden wave of Instagram pictures posted containing “Squad reunions” and “Throwbacks.”
One Senior, Angela Middleton, expressed her annoyance that all three of her graduated friends just showed up on her doorstep Friday afternoon.
“They just appeared at my front door with an air mattress and bottles of wine,”
Said Middleton.
All they wanted to do was go out like ‘old times,’ but none of them lasted past 5 p.m.”
According to campus authorities, the majority of these newly-successful graduates have evacuated the campus. However, students are reminded that the next stage, freshman admittance tours, is right around the corner.