Gator football will hit the road for the first time this season, making a trip to face off against the University of Kentucky in Lexington. The biggest question of the weekend: how will Head Coach Jim McElwain’s will-power match up against authentic, Kentucky Fried Chicken?
“I can’t say that it hasn’t crossed my mind,” McElwain said at a press conference. “It’ll be the biggest challenge we’ve faced thus far.”
It’s too early to tell how McElwain will do under pressure, but a source close to the head coach says that the big man in charge is getting anxious.
“He’s lost four pounds in anticipatory drool,” the anonymous source reported.
McElwain even faltered in an interview after a weekday practice.
“We’re ready to play our breast football yet,” McElwain said, but quickly corrected himself.
Best football, my mistake, drumstick, 8-PIECE BUCKET ARGGHHH.”
The University of Kentucky, knowing a victory over UF would earn them their first airtime on ESPN off the basketball court, are hoping to distract the Gator coach with their home-grown tradition.
“I declare Saturday, September 19, Jim McElwain day in Kentucky,” said Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear. “Coach McElwain will not be charged a cent for chicken at KFC or any establishment that opens its doors that day.”
After fainting, McElwain quickly recovered and thanked the state of Kentucky for their kind gesture.
“As deeply honored as I am, my time in Kentucky is strictly business,” McElwain said, silently crying.
All of my time will be devoted to football, there won’t be any time for chicken,”
McElwain finished, now sobbing uncontrollably.
Kickoff on Saturday is slated for 7:30 PM, and McElwain plans to travel without the team so that he can arrive to the state and stadium at exactly 7:29 PM. He will be airlifted off of the field as soon as the game concludes.
This article not paid for by KFC but we’d definitely take payment if they offered it, just saying.