GAINESVILLE, Fla. – The NFL confirmed Friday that the UF football team will fly to Glendale, Az. on Sunday, Feb. 1 to face the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX.
Following the recent “deflate-gate” controversy, the Gators will replace a New England Patriots team whose balls weren’t “adequately inflated” during an AFC championship game.
Although it would make sense for the Colts – or any team besides the Gators – to replace the Patriots, the NFL figured it would be fun to see some blood and gore. Plus, they wouldn’t have to pay the student-athletes anything, in accordance with college sports’ upstanding ethical standards.
Reports indicate that all of the revenue earned from the game’s multi-million-dollar broadcast will go towards company vacations and an extra team of legal loophole-finders.
If, by some stroke of luck, the Gators can manage to survive long enough to win on Sunday it will become the first college football team to win two bowl games in a span of two months; they beat a fierce East Carolina team in the Birmingham Bowl on Jan. 3.
All-star former quarterback Jeff Driskel is also rumored to be reversing his transfer to Louisiana Tech to play in the Super Bowl. Driskel says he has complete faith that new head coach Jim McElwain can lead the team to victory over the Seahawks. He had the following to say:
I know I didn’t have the greatest season last year but I’ve been thinking really hard about how to improve. I just finished a season of Friday Night Lights and that’s really put my head back in the game.
ESPN college football analyst and former Gator Tim Tebow stated in an unofficial interview that the UF team was “totally screwed” and “would win if I could still play.”
Despite the criticism, many students are buying last minute discounted tickets to the game in the hopes that those who haven’t heard the news and actually still want to go to the game will be looking for scalpers.