With hurricane season coming to a close, it seems that the sonically gifted will need to wait another year for the chance to begin needed renovations on the music building.
During the most recent appropriations meeting, it was concluded that the work needed to bring the Music Building at UF up to par with the rest of the campus buildings will only begin once a hurricane hits Gainesville and renders the current place of work for the best musical minds in Gainesville nothing more than rubble and broken wind instruments.
Citing the costs associated with demolition, it was deemed to be “too expensive” to build an entirely new building, however when approached with the idea of simply renovating the building so that it can be utilized to the best of its ability despite current limitations, the suggestion solicited raucous laughter from the four members of the committee.
Once the hilarity quieted down and the knee-slapping ended, the chair of the committee, Bill Walters, explained the thought process behind their decision.
“There’s no way we’re going to renovate that decrepit and outdated building! It’d be like putting a pretty pink bow on a giant piece of crap,
Walters said.
The students will just have to adjust to the sub-par learning environment they’re subjected to until the next Cat 4 comes barreling through the middle of campus.”
As the supporters of the Music Hall pleaded their case with more and more fervor, citing the poor lighting, outdated HVAC unit, and poor acoustics the building provides, the committee was seen sneaking out a back door towards the parking lot, golf shoes in hand and clubs slung over their shoulders.
“Sorry guys, we’re gonna be late for our tee-time!” were the last words the exasperated crowd was given before being blinded from the smoking tires of the committee as they fish-tailed out of the parking lot and down Gale.
As of press time, it had been reported that the campus squirrels had taken up the cause for the Music Hall, and are retaliating by stealing all of the golf balls hit into the woods by committee members.