The Florida Gators remain undefeated in this year’s football season after a long and arduous game against Idaho.
Perhaps the most surprising moment was the unveiling of the Gators’ new offense; featuring a choreographed rain dance to summon the ancient thunder god Raijin. Dressed in a homemade spiritual garb hidden under their uniforms, the gators joined hands in the locker room, swaying back and forth while praying for the mighty Raijin to summon a win via draw.
The ritual seemed to work for a few hours, as the players reached a fever pitch. The dance was stopped when Driskel pulled something in his leg and had to be carried off the premises. This mishap resulted in a kickoff actually occurring, but the ritual was resumed by the second string team. To everyone’s relief, the game was officially cancelled and the Gators are now undefeated.
We interviewed Will Muschamp, who had the following to say:
“I’m glad our new offense has proved so effective. My coaches and I tried to come up with some actual plays but that was really hard and we decided to do something unconventional instead. Hail Raijin!”
Here’s to many more not-losses this football season. Go Gators!