The Really Independent Florida Crocodile

“Dad bods” proven to take hard work, time

Calling them the next “hot body type”, Alpha Sigma Sigma brother Trey Larsen told Crocodile reporters that having a gut instead of muscle is not only more popular, it’s sexier, too.

Larsen explains that it took a solid two weeks of skipping classes and drinking nonstop for the new physique to appear. “Skipping those two weeks of my sport management classes was really tough, but I did what I needed to do to fit in with my brothers who went to PCB over spring break.”

The new “dad bod” was discovered only weeks ago after an “insane spring break at PCB drinking literal buckets of Natty.”

Fitness and health are completely in the past,”

says Larsen, “I think we should look up at the older generations of men and see that they realized a long time ago that it wasn’t important either”.

Larsen references his father and grandfather and praises them for their lack of concern over having a muscular physique.

“How often do girls comment on how hot DILFs are? DILFs are in, and if that’s the body type girls are looking for, then I’m okay with letting myself go, too,” says Larsen.

The Crocodile found a reliable source, a freshman psychology major currently enrolled in PSY2012, to further comment on this story.

I definitely think the Oedipus Complex plays a large role in dad bods.

Also maybe like fight or flight or whatever that’s called.”

Despite psychological claims behind “dad bods”, the fact remains: they are totally in. So change out of those gym clothes and grab another 6 pack, boys!