Another day of bad judgement has led the UF Football team to even more suspensions. The NCAA has suspended 37 players after officials found evidence of the team participating at a local laser tag arena.
The overwhelming evidence was that the Gators players were wearing their full game uniforms while playing laser tag.
“I just wear my jersey no matter where I’m at.”
Said UF quarterback Luke Del Rio.
“I never even thought it could possibly backfire.”
The Gators decided on laser tag over bowling because the bowling alley at the Reitz doesn’t allow laughing or happiness.
The players will reportedly be suspended until the Gators are completely out of the SEC Championship race. Some players have already vowed to fight the NCAA on the suspension.
“I swear I was just there for my little brother’s birthday party.”
Said Defensive Lineman Bryan Cox.
“I didn’t know laser tag was against NCAA regulations!”
Cox was later found with laser residue under his fingernails proving him guilty.
Other players were very compliant with the NCAA investigation and admitted to their wrongdoing.
“I’m guilty of playing laser tag but at least I didn’t test positive for PEDs.”
UF quarterback Treon Harris repeated over and over again.
With the suspensions the team currently consists of two backup kickers.
“They could still potentially be really good on Special Teams.”
Said optimistic ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit.
It is reported that the coaches were completely unaware of the players getting together to play laser tag.
“I heard something about lasers but I didn’t understand anything they were saying, so naturally I thought they were talking about how to score a touchdown.”
Said Head Coach Jim McElwain.
McElwain reacted to the news by making an even angrier face then the one he had on before he found out. Reports indicate that he has had issues with the team wanting to play laser tag before.
When Kelvin Taylor asked coach McElwain if the team could play laser tag for a team building exercise last Christmas Break, he simply replied:
“You’ll shoot your eye out.”
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