The UFPD has recently established a so-called “rumor hotline” in an attempt to gather information about the mysterious white male that has been terrorizing campus. However, the plan seems to have backfired as the new toll-free line has been flooded with rumors unrelated to the crimes. The spokesman for the UFPD admits that they regret using Officer Tenpenny’s office line as the main hub, and that he is constantly inundated with useless information.

Just the other day, while looking through the video footage of the white male, I got another call. I was excited that it might be helpful information, but I just got, ‘Oh my god, is this, like, the rumor line? Because you guys need to hear what Jenny was wearing the other day; it was HIDEO-.’ I cut her off there, but you see what I have to deal with every day.

Officer Tenpenny had to cut our interview short as his phone rang yet again.

The UFPD plead with the Crocodile for help.
The UFPD plead with the Crocodile for help.

The coordinator of the program is working hard to resolve the false tips they are receiving, but has admitted that he doesn’t really know how to turn the line off or redirect the calls. He has stated that he is unsure exactly how their phone system works and that he “got lucky” setting it up in the first place. He has already tried turning it off and back on again. As of last report, it appears that the rumor hotline has gone National, recieving calls and useless gossip from across the country.

We have no idea what we are doing,

an anonymous officer stated when asked how the situation was being handled.

“We just want this to stop.”