In wake of Tropical Storm Hermine making landfall Thursday night, The University of Florida Bookstore has announced that it will be selling Rain Jackets in order to ensure the safety of the student body.
Jackets will be sold at $300, with a semester rental option for $295.
When the Crocodile reached out to the bookstore for comment on their latest demonstration of generosity, they had this to say:
“We are proud to be selling 8th edition Pearson Rain Jackets to our Students for the discounted price of $300.”
The Bookstore also wishes that all students remain safe during the storm, and that they use the time wisely, such as paying off the third loan they took out to afford their Art History Textbook.
“We are willing to stay open if it means taking more of your money.”
A UF Bookstore representative who did not know they were on the record said.
Students were told that though they may not need the rain jackets every day, it will be very hard to succeed in their classes without them. They were also reminded that sharing of rain jackets is a criminal offense, and that the unique, rain slicking action would only activate with a one-time use code.
An informer decided to leak the information that last week, Rain Jackets were only $15. The UF Bookstore responded with the following statement:
“The Jackets that were sold last week were actually the 7th Edition jackets, and we decided to upgrade this week to ensure that students are given the slightly, but barely improved rain gear that they deserve. Also, the 8Th Edition comes with a Companion Disk that demonstrates how to use the jacket.“
The 7th Edition is also available for purchase from a sketchy sophomore behind the Reitz Union who claims he barely used his jacket last year, but it somehow looks like hell.