Aramark has recently announced that the always-popular Gator Dining cookies will now be cooked using only solar heat from the top of the Rawlings garage in an attempt to save energy and take advantage of what is undoubtedly the hottest surface in Gainesville.
The new cooking plan will be scheduled to take place on the hottest times of the week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 1 p.m. and on any day that you decide to ride your bike.
Aramark staff will soon be installing the “ovens”—large cooking trays that will be put on top of the cars of those who slept through their alarm and had to drive to class to make it on time.
“This new cooking initiative is going to really help UF to become more sustainable,”
Said Aramark Press Manager Eddie Steeles.
“But more importantly, we’ll be putting your tuition dollars to what you care most about—having dozens more hot chocolate chip cookies for you to shove in your backpack.”
The new plan seems to have gone over well with the student body, especially after 1,300 Summer B freshman tasted the cookies that were passed out as a sample. Even students who commute to class said that they were totally fine with the idea of their windshields potentially being used to make baked goods while they were in class.
“Let’s be honest, it’s 105 degrees here in July, me and my car are already going to be a puddle of molten lava by the time I get out of my 10:40,”
Said sophomore Lacie Golle.
“I’m fine with a little melted chocolate on my windshield as long as I’m one of the first to experience the benefits of the Florida sun combined with my silver ’82 Civic.”
The program will begin as soon as the Aramark scientists can figure out a way to reliably predict Florida rainstorms.
Don’t forget to grab the new issue in boxes all over campus!