UF Admits to Vaping; Becomes 10x Cooler


Some say UF was vaping before it was cool. The university has confirmed our suspicions by announcing that they will implement vape stations around campus next week.

“I’m honestly not too proud of it, but it’s part of who I am,” said the top 8 public university at an impromptu press conference.

Since 1853, the University of Florida has been puffing a pretty consistent vape cloud from different manholes across its campus. Until this point, university officials have explained away the plumes as “steam from underground utility systems.” But on Monday, UF gave a clarifying statement to all who would listen.

“I was tired of lying to the Gator Nation,” UF said. “There’s a reason that my steam smells funky.”

The university explained that the odor is distinct because it uses the first ever e-liquid vapor to “blow those clouds” on campus.” Members of UF’s Facilities Services first started gives the university its 1850s vape juice as a way of coping with the stress of an ever-increasing student population.

The brave souls who vape in public, and the recent election denying vaping rights are both to thank for UF’s latest confession. The university wants its fellow vapers to know that they are not alone.

“There may be a day you forget your vape pen – it’s happened to me,” UF said. “Feel free to walk up to the vape rising from the manholes, put your face directly over it and take a long, deep whiff of it. We’re all in this together.”

Jessica Schmidt, a junior electrical engineering major and vape pen designer, said she respected UF’s bravery for finally telling the truth and removing barricades from around the manholes.

“From the smell and color, I always knew the smoke coming out of the ground wasn’t just steam,” Schmidt said. “I’m happy UF admitted it and I look forward to working with the university on introducing newer e-liquids and flavors into its vape arsenal for it and its students to enjoy.”


UF Admits to Vaping; Becomes 10x Cooler

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