Nothing will get in the way of a college student and free stuff, and Jeremy Mines, agriculture senior, considers himself a professional at getting all the freebies.

“If there’s free food, I’ll be found in line. I never give up a chance to not pay for something.”

Said Mines, who claims that he has stood in line for upwards of fifty hours this semester just waiting to spin a wheel or sign his name in order to get handed a treat. He believes that this inclination of his comes from the lessons his mother taught him as a child. 

“She would always use plenty of coupons and save money at every occasion so I think that encouraged my love for saving money.”

Said Mines. His favorite, he tells us, is getting free clothing, typically  from joining various clubs just to get some. He recently joined the Student Assembly of Organized Frugality (SAOF) which, ironically, gave out shirts for joining its first meeting.

“We know who our target audience is, so every year we give out free shirts,”

Said SAOF president Karl Clipper.

“We did try a potluck one year but that didn’t pan out very well.”

Mines said most of his wardrobe is made up of all the free shirts he has collected, although he still avoids wearing his preview shirt. He does, however, feel that he is a civil servant by his constant desire to collect free things; Mines has donated blood seven times in the last year.

“I mean yeah, I got a bunch of cool shirts and movie tickets out of it, and they’ve told me I need to cool it for a bit, but I really want to help others.”

Eventually, Mines hopes to create his own club dedicated to not giving anything out. He thinks that will balance out the natural order of things and allow its members to actually focus on work.

“You can’t focus on what you need to do when you know there’s free pizza at the end of the meeting. Provide nothing, and people will finally pay attention.”