Winter has come to Gainesville, and students are breaking out their $200 NorthFace jackets while the good times last.
Carol Gantry, a freshman Innovation Academy student, was one of the first to notify the public of the cold weather via her Snapchat story.
I almost thought that winter was never going to make it! I couldn’t bear the thought of sunny skies and warm weather for all 52 weeks of the year!”
Gantry continued spewing her love for the bleakest season of them all until she was suddenly interrupted by dreadful news. When informed that temperatures would soon rise to levels unheard of since last week, she hurriedly ran out, screaming that she needed to “do all the winter things” while she had the chance.
Students who aren’t friends with Gantry on Snapchat learned about the colder-than-normal-but-not-actually-cold weather later in the day, such as Frank Pentene, a fifth year marketing senior.
Yeah, I mean I wasn’t doing anything productive anyways, just kinda laying around watching Hulu. I thought about going to the gym but then I saw it was below 60 outside and I have a coupon for Dominos, so yeah.”
Pentene was not alone in letting lethargy get the better of him during these cold times. Campus squirrels have been mysteriously missing, and even the Crazy Turlington Cross Guy has been less of his normal, vitriolic self. Reports say that much like the Gator football team, the cold weather will start off strong and slowly give way down the stretch.
As of press time, one student was overheard complaining about how hot the RTS buses were.