Student-Athlete Really Gonna Try the ‘Student’ Thing This Semester


Student-athletes are applauded for their ability to simultaneously just athletics and academics. One UF football player has changed what it means to be a student athlete in all the wrong ways.

Tanner Hoogerheide, the third string punter, is in his senior year but has yet to complete a full credit towards his degree. Tanner says he’s been advised that if he focuses on football (that is, punting), he’s guaranteed a spot in the NFL.

According to special teams coach Dick Darlington, Tanner’s dreams are unrealistic.

“So help me God,” exclaimed Darlington, “if that kid ever sees the field I’ll cancel the season myself! We let him walk onto the team because of his GPA, and now he doesn’t even take classes. I’m blaming McElwain for this one.”

Tanner, technically an 8th semester freshman, has decided to give college a shot this semester.

“I’m taking Good Life to start, but nothing else. If I focus on school too much, the NFL might slip away,” said Tanner. “My mom always said I have a golden foot, so I shouldn’t waste my life getting a degree.”

Hoogerheide has spent 3 full years at UF without completing credits, thanks to some careful planning. Every semester, he enrolls in 18 credits only to withdraw from them at the last possible moment. According to the UF registrar, he currently has 54 withdrawn courses on his transcript.

Tanner is excited to join the time-honored tradition of skipping lectures at the University of Florida. He’s most looking forward to being given the answer keys to exams by his teammates and coaches.


Student-Athlete Really Gonna Try the ‘Student’ Thing This Semester

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