One student who has been having a particularly difficult time with the infamous UF plague, claims that this week he was asked by the campus infirmary to pay rent for January after a series of visits while he was sick.

“I got an invoice for the typical things like strep tests and my prescription,”

Said sophomore Ryan Goldber, who was diagnosed with the flu, a sinus infection and bronchitis.

“But then down at the bottom I saw a charge for $550 with simply the word ‘rent’ next to it.”

Goldber said he reached out to the infirmary to ask what exactly the cost was for, but could only get through to a voicemail telling students that no appointments were available until October and asking them to wear at least one face mask at all times.

“I mean, I guess I did spend a lot of time there but only because I wasn’t about to spend my own money on Gatorade and cough drops,”

Goldber said, who calls the receptionist by her first name “Shirley.”

“And at least they don’t tell me to ‘keep it down’ like my roommate when I sneeze or cough,”

However, according to a representative from the student health care center, Goldber wasn’t the only one to see a charge for rent on his bill this month. Kevin Calls, Director of Student Care, said that they had no other choice after the overwhelming surge of sick students came pouring in this spring. Calls said they originally tried encouraging students to go to other clinics or just rest, but nothing worked.

“All it took was one sick kid to go to class and then the next day we had 50 new patients,”

Calls said, who has been at the infirmary for the past 5 days restocking 2 ply tissues.

“Eventually we knew it was time for these patients to really pay up, otherwise we weren’t sure if we could continue to offer two whole flavors of Gatorade.”

Calls assures that as soon as this sick season passes over the infirmary will be back to its normal self of not charging rent and prescribing everyone Mucinex.