The Standard to Add Mini-Target Inside Existing Target


A recent press release by Target Corp, has revealed that a new miniature Target will be opening inside of the existing Target on the ground floor of The Standard. The small-scale store is expected to be completed within the month, using the same speed-over-quality construction company that built the Standard.

The mini-Target will cater to residents of The Standard, stocking overpriced essentials for students with unlimited budgets. The 300 square foot store will have only two aisles: a refrigerated aisle for snacks and drinks, including cheap alcohol in bulk, and a “miscellaneous” aisle with red cups, Hot Cheetos, and exactly three notebooks.

“When we opened the full-service Target, we didn’t realize that college students only buy the same 7 items over and over again,” said regional manager Tyler Young. “This super-concentrated Target is a last ditch effort for this location to turn a profit.”

The new addition will have a separate storefront, and will replace the restrooms of the current store. Customers will need a key fob from the standard to have access, meaning that only residents will be able to raid the dedicated Whiteclaw section. A single employee will be available to assist with the self-checkout machine for customers who are too drunk to operate it.

Non-Standard residents have criticized the Mini Target, saying that it’s unfair that a key fob will be required for entry. To address this issue, the store will be adding membership options, including parking, for $150 a month.

The neighboring Publix has begun talks about adding a Mini Publix inside of its nearby location. While plans are not definite, our sources have revealed that this store would exclusively sell chicken tender Pub Subs.


The Standard to Add Mini-Target Inside Existing Target

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