GAINESVILLE, Fla. – A mysterious snowstorm has hovered over the University of Florida for the last 24 hours dumping over eight inches of snow and ten-degree weather onto the deserted campus, according to various Gainesville weather reports.
The snow has fallen in a very specific pattern beginning at the corner of SW 34th and West University, clear to SW 13th and down to SW Archer Road. The remarkable phenomenon is unique because only three people have actually been on campus to witness it, and none of them were students. At this time it is still unknown why and how this winter storm has occurred.
While Florida is known for its sunshine and warm weather, that’s not so this holiday season. How did the snow get there, and why is it nowhere else in the Gainesville area? These are the questions local weather forecasters are asking this December.
With the weather experts providing zero information to the public, we turned to UF’s new president Kent Fuchs for the exclusive story. Fuchs made the trip to campus after hearing about the storm, and discovering that current UF President Bernie Machen was “too exhausted” and “retiring this month anyway” to leave the comfort of his snow-free home.
“I’ve seen this before. At Cornell it would snow every December, and most times much earlier in the year as well. I welcome the snow,”
said Fuchs. When asked to go more in-depth about the mysterious pattern of the storm, Fuchs responded simply,
“It’s a damn Christmas miracle.”
Although he expressed few words about the current winter storm to Crocodile reporters, Fuchs was described as “frolicking in the snow,” by a local citizen, and seen busily at work building a snowman who resembled an angry Will Muschamp.
As per usual, the most help provided by the weather forecasters are in their predictions about the next few weeks. Temperatures are expected to be anywhere between the mid-40s to low 70s, and the snow is predicted to melt before students arrive back in Gainesville for the spring semester.