It’s not often that a celebrity is seen on campus. Siddhartha, protagonist of the aptly named novel “Siddhartha,” was spotted eating Krishna Lunch in the Plaza of the Americas. 

“The eternal bliss I received from achieving enlightenment has made me one with the universe,”

Siddhartha said.

“I have let go of all desire–except for the desire to enjoy a delicious, affordable, vegetarian lunch that is open five days a week.” 

Siddhartha made sure to visit the earthly realm on chili and potato day, as it is scientifically proven that Friday is the best day to visit Krishna Lunch. Since he was already in Gainesville, he decided to make a weekend out of his visit.  

“I will tutor the misguided youth of Florida in the ways of inner peace,”

Siddhartha said.

“First, I will teach AirPod users to let go of material pleasures. Next, I will instruct a hot yoga class at Student Rec.” 

When asked if he would like to pay for his meal with cash or card, Siddhartha first offered to pay with “graciousness more meaningful than physical tender could convey, for what is truly valuable in life is sought from within.” Ultimately, a freshman ended up paying for his meal in exchange for Siddhartha writing his Good Life essay.  

“It’s not every day that a person who’s been dead for hundreds of years descends from Nirvana for a bite to eat,” psychology senior and Krishna Lunch enthusiast Anika Gupta said. “A holy light enveloped his entire being, and when he looked into my eyes, I felt my soul quiver. He transformed into a rabbit, and then a river, and then into the entire night sky. But honestly, I’ve seen weirder stuff on this campus.”