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Late Guy in Suit Really Wants Class to Know He Had Interview

According to his Intro to Accounting class, one student burst in through the door of his 23 minutes after the lecture had begun, and...

Century Tower To Be Replaced by 200 ft. Kyle Trask Statue

As the Gator Nation prepares itself for the looming threat of the Florida-Georgia game, University boosters have been hard at work on a necessary...

Graduating Senior Lands Dream Unpaid Internship

After four rigorous years of coursework and countless applications, senior John Baker accomploished his lifelong dream: an unpaid internship. “This is the best—I’m literally going...

Turlington Biker Fears No God, Rules, Or Masters

A sacrilegious bicycle rider known as the Turlington Biker has been terrorizing innocent people in Turlington Plaza. Students are cowering behind The Potato with bruised ankles...

UF Zoologist: Tigers to be extinct by 11:00 PM Saturday

In the leadup to the highly anticipated UF-LSU matchup this weekend, one UF zoologist has made a prediction that goes beyond football; extinction. Jeff Pringle,...

Donald Trump Jr. to be Paid $50,000 in Flexbucks

On Thursday, Donald Trump Jr. is set to speak at the University Auditorium, kicking off the ACCENT Speakers Bureau fall lineup. This announcement has...

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STUDY: Students who miss Convocation 90% more likely to fail in school, relationships, life

A new study conducted by the National Board of Disregarding Convocation (NBD for short) has provided some insight as to why students who skip...

New Starbucks to open inside Marston Starbucks

University of Florida President, Kent Fuchs, announced Monday that a long-awaited 7th on-campus Starbucks will be opening inside of the Marston Science Library Starbucks. The...

Professor offers 1 word reply to student’s desperate 10 paragraph email

After a debaucherous night at Midtown, freshman political science major Nathan Cook awoke in a haze Thursday morning to discover that he had completely...

Senior forgets to take picture with Bull Gator, not allowed to graduate

One fewer Gator will be receiving their diploma during this spring’s graduation ceremony after a student made one tragic mistake this past week. Jennifer McMahey,...

Tennessee Fans to Tailgate in Supervised, Mud-Filled Pen

UFPD announced Thursday that visiting Tennessee fans would be relegated to tailgating in a supervised, mud-filled pen. “This was done for both the safety...

Alumni Takes Out Loan for UF Giving Day

UF Giving Day is one of the most important days of the year for students and alumni. That’s why 2018 grad...

Alabama fan to brush tooth before SEC game

In order to get dressed up for the SEC Championship game, University of Alabama student Cletus Dunlop has decided to brush his tooth Friday...

Portal to Hell Found in Little Hall Bathroom

In news unsurprising to anyone who has ever entered a Little Hall bathroom, a demonic force has reportedly ripped open the fabric or space-time...
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