GAINESVILLE, FL – Following an intense confrontation with the long arm of the law, UF student Corey Greyson found himself on the receiving end of the criminal justice system on Friday night, sources say. Greyson was alleged to have been possessing alcohol under the age of 21, a criminal offense in the United States, and was promptly detained and arrested by UFPD officer Frank Suid in what Greyson now calls “the moment everything changed.”
“I should have stopped. I should have kept my nose clean. But I chose to take a plunge into the inescapable depths of the criminal underworld, and now I’ve paid the price,”
Greyson told reporters at press time.
There’s no going back now. I’m a hardened criminal.
Like many other volatile convicts reprimanded for possession of alcohol, Greyson, now an unstable product of the criminal justice system, finds himself fully embedded in a life of lawlessness. Greyson soon after the incident adorned his body with tattoos and piercings to embrace and espouse his felonious lifestyle, including three separate face tattoos, all of which read “Only God can judge me.”
My family won’t even let me hold the baby anymore,
Greyson choked through tears at press time.
“They didn’t even invite me back for winter break. Because of my lawless misconduct, I have ostracized myself from all of my friends. Nobody wants to associate with a thug.”
When questioned by reporters at press time, arresting officer Frank Suid kept comments to a minimum. Before escorting Greyson back to the yard at Gainesville Maximum Security Prison, Suid offered one last statement:
Listen, I’m here to keep this campus safe from delinquents. Part of that job means putting cuffs on the people who hurt the university the most: people that drink under the age of 21.