After an abrupt wake up call last semester, University of Florida freshman Timothy Jones has declared that he is indeed going to study this semester. Following his initial straight C average, Jones has found out that college is actually a bit different than high school.
“Of course I studied,”
Jones had to say when asked about last semester. “I looked at my Good Life powerpoints for like a whole day before the final,” he added as he unpacked the new Playstation 4 he got for Christmas.
When asked about the financial consequences of his 2.0 GPA, Jones dismissed any concerns by stating that Bright Futures won’t check until the end of the year, not the semester. Sources say that this answer was also used to placate his mother, who is struggling to pay the tuition even with the scholarship.
Jones added after his Bright Futures comment, “But hey, Cs get degrees, right?”
When reached out to for further questioning, Jones ignored us. If his aforementioned statements are to be believed, he was studying his first week’s Calc 2 lectures. But in all likelihood he was playing Call of Duty while his roommate was trying to study.