It was just announced that the reason behind Florida’s re-election of its republican governor Rick Scott was punishment for losing a bet to the state of Missouri.

Scott’s re-election was announced late Tuesday night, and people everywhere immediately wondered how such a thing could have happened. Soon after, Florida described that the election was rigged, as the state had bet Missouri that it would be the “Most Fucked Up State of 2014.”

As you may know, Florida has a long history of drug addiction, murder and cannibalism. All of these events have given Florida the distinction of being the most severely messed up state in the Union. In recent months, however, Missouri has had fatally high levels of police brutality, protests and government corruption, ousting Florida from its title.

            “At the beginning of the year, Missouri approached me and claimed it could be more fucked up than me,”

Florida said in an interview,

“I told him there was no way in hell, I’ve always been the king of crazy! So we made a little bet. If Missouri lost, they had to flood St. Louis with the Mississippi. If I lost, I had to re-elect Rick Scott. For a while, I was a shoo-in. But that Ferguson stuff? Ain’t nobody competing with that!”

Rick Scott is famous for being an active member of the club Big Money, a group that includes most old white Republican politicians. He also participated in one of the biggest acts of healthcare fraud in state history. All of this, coupled with his harmful views on gun control, abortion, same-sex marriage, and free healthcare make Scott a perfect candidate for losing a bet.

In the end, the election of Scott may help Florida in its quest to be the most disturbed state in the country. That is, of course, assuming Texas, Alaska or South Carolina don’t make any resurgences.

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