Fat Daddy’s Bathroom Ranked in Top 10 Places to Cry


A recent list detailing the best places to cry in the United States includes one of Gainesville’s favorite spots: the Fat Daddy’s bathroom. Fat Daddy’s Bar and Grill has been vying for the number one spot since the first list was released in 2013.

The list judged different crying environments based on factors such as crowdedness, darkness, floor stickiness, lingering stenches, and the number of mysterious puddles on the ground.

To appeal to the judges, Fat Daddy’s has been routinely ignoring the fire code to pack over 200 people into the women’s restroom. On any given night the bathroom sells out crying space, making it the most packed place per capita in the Southeastern United States.

“Yeah, I’ve cried here so many times. Where am I gonna cry after I graduate? Oh, wow I’m actually gonna miss this place..,” said senior Lizzie Allen when we met up with her at Fat Daddy’s. “Oh my God, I have to go to the bathroom.”

Unfortunately, for Lizzie, the bathroom had reached full capacity as the crying line was wrapped around the corner to Pita Pit. Fat Daddy’s has released plans to address the issue of overcapacity.

Following their new top 10 status, Fat Daddy’s announced plans to add a second floor to the women’s bathroom by March of 2019. Other renovations will include large mirrors on every wall, multiple floor drains, and a surround sound speaker system that will play “Lucid Dreams” by JUICE WRLD on loop.

To accompany their improved bathrooms, the bar has unveiled a new ad campaign targeting potential criers. Events such as Tuesday night’s “Crying Karaoke”, featuring DJ Sad Boi, will encourage non-crying customers to shed some tears. Happy hour is being replaced with sad hour, when all drinks come with a box of tissues.

“I’m really excited to get a turn in the bathroom when the mirrors are installed. It’ll be a step up from crying in front of Italian Gator,” said senior (sophomore by credits) Lily Frost. “Now you can catch me sobbing hysterically on the second floor while DJ Sad Boi plays “Someone Like You” by Adele in the bathroom.”


Fat Daddy’s Bathroom Ranked in Top 10 Places to Cry

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