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UFPD ‘Rumor Hotline’ Attracts Gossip

The UFPD has recently established a so-called “rumor hotline” in an attempt to gather information about the mysterious white male that has been terrorizing...

Gators Undefeated in 2014 Football Season

The Florida Gators remain undefeated in this year’s football season after a long and arduous game against Idaho. Perhaps the most surprising moment was the...

Easter Rush Causes Taco Bell Food Shortage

Local restaurants had to close yesterday on the 20th after running out of food in the late afternoon. Many are attributing this shortage to...

Good Life student reaches enlightenment

  After completing his Analytical Essay the Sunday night before it was due, “What is the Good Life?” student Tyler Oram successfully found enlightenment. In...

Patric Young Thanks Crocodile

Patric Young, star University of Florida center, recently cited The Crocodile as the inspiration for his athletic success. The Gators are ranked as the...

Humans Vs. Zombies Suspected To Be Cover For Gang War

What was once thought to be an innocent game of cross-campus tag has now caught the attention of Gainesville’s law enforcement. The game is...

University Simultaneously Pisses On Every Single Student

While a mystery criminal has been terrorizing campus with acts of indecent exposure and serial urination, new reports reveal that the University of Florida...

Abortion Posters to be Featured in Dining Halls

The abortion posters that have been appearing around Turlington will have a new home starting next week. The owners of the posters have partnered...

J Cole Comes to UF to Visit Harn Museum

Hip hop sensation J Cole has recently revealed that the purpose of his concert on February 27th at the O'Connell Center was actually just...