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Luxury Gainesville Apartment Only Has One Roach

As development overtakes Gainesville, yet another luxury apartment has been built near Midtown. However, this complex is being praised for offering something...

Student Finally Quits Quarantine Hobby

One psychology junior said she vowed to use her time in quarantine to finally pick up a hobby, do something productive, or...

Larry’s Giant Subs Unveils Final 25 Foot Sandwich as Farewell

For over 20 years, Larry’s Giant Subs has been a Gainesville staple - serving carb-based foods to drunk people at 4 a.m....

Electric Skateboarders Deem Themselves Essential Service

Citing themselves as the most important organization on campus, members of Gainesville’s electric skateboard community have declared themselves essential workers in an effort...

Life-Changing Study Abroad Replaced With Crying in Childhood Bedroom

A visit to the Leaning Tower of Pisa has been replaced with eating pizza in bed at 4 a.m. Living amongst animals...

Feral Alligators Assume Control Over Empty Gainesville

With Gainesville a veritable ghost town during the summer of COVID-19, an army of alligators, thousands-strong, has reportedly taken control of all...

Summer Course Has the Audacity to be Difficult

When one UF senior decided to take an online class during the summer, he said he thought it was going to be...

Summer Abroad to be Conducted Over VR Headset

One international Relations Sophomore was devastated by the news that her summer study abroad program had been cancelled due to the current...

Frat House Bathroom Declared Level 5 CDC Quarantine Zone

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has announced that it quarantined a single fraternity house bathroom and restricted it to level...