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Study Finds Student Debt Mostly Due To Starbucks

For years, the public has been sold a lie about how the skyrocketing burden of student debt in the US was caused by increasingly...

Class Schedule to Remain Unchanged Unless Entire Campus Destroyed by Hurricane

The University of Florida recently confirmed via email newsletter that all class schedules will remain unchanged unless the entire campus was “destroyed beyond all...

Townsend Receives Theater Degree for Fake Punt

 While the Gator Nation tries to collectively lower their heart rates after a traumatizing victory over Miami, one football player is preparing to receive...

President Fuchs to Shoot Diplomas Out of T-Shirt Cannon at Commencement

In response to students voicing their displeasure with the newest graduation policy, the University of Florida is implementing a last-minute change to individually honor...

UF Campus to be Demolished, Replaced with Luxury Apartments

On Sunday, the University of Florida announced that it has sold the entirety of its campus to luxury apartment developer, Bertram Construction, LLC. The news came...

Endgame: Everything You Need to Know About Tebow’s Surprise Cameo

Audiences at the first showings of Avengers: Endgame Thursday night were both shocked and delighted to see University of Florida star player and sports...

Report: Swampy UF Memes Admins Corrupt, Bought Out by “Big Meme” Industry 

“Swampy UF memes for top ten public teens” is a popular page for depressed students to consume UF-based content produced by fellow Gators. Boasting more than 40,000 members, Swampy Memes is...

Frat Runs Out of Party Ideas, Throws Party-Themed Party

After a long semester of recycling party themes, the fraternity brothers of UF are tired of throwing beach-themed bashes and ski lodge soirées for...

The Standard to Add Mini-Target Inside Existing Target

A recent press release by Target Corp, has revealed that a new miniature Target will be opening inside of the existing Target on the...