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Gators Observe UTI Awareness Month

The month of Breast Cancer Awareness has come to a close, and concerned American citizens are looking to promote awareness for a different illness...

2 Chainz to Finish Masters in Chemistry

The Crocodile Rap Investigation team has just uncovered that 2 Chainz upcoming concert is nothing more than an excuse to come to UF and...

Florida Re-elects Rick Scott Because of Lost Bet

It was just announced that the reason behind Florida’s re-election of its republican governor Rick Scott was punishment for losing a bet to the...

UF Presidential Search Committee Having Trouble Finding Anyone Interested

After incessantly emailing and advertising for months, UF’s presidential search committee still cannot find anyone interested in succeeding Bernie Machen. The committee developed a...

Man Enjoys Luke Bryan Concert Despite Luke Bryan Performance

GAINESVILLE, FL – Despite what sources are currently calling an “operations malfunction” at Saturday’s presentation of country singer Luke Bryan’s “Farm Tour,” 21-year old...

UF Plague Linked to Gatorwell Marketing Scheme

The cause of the upper respiratory viral infection sweeping University of Florida campus has been linked to a GatorWell marketing strategy gone horribly wrong. Thanks...

UFPD ‘Rumor Hotline’ Attracts Gossip

The UFPD has recently established a so-called “rumor hotline” in an attempt to gather information about the mysterious white male that has been terrorizing...

Gators Undefeated in 2014 Football Season

The Florida Gators remain undefeated in this year’s football season after a long and arduous game against Idaho. Perhaps the most surprising moment was the...

Easter Rush Causes Taco Bell Food Shortage

Local restaurants had to close yesterday on the 20th after running out of food in the late afternoon. Many are attributing this shortage to...