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Yik Yak mascot hooks up with Alberta

A simple marketing event took a turn for the worst this week when UF mascot Alberta was caught in a compromising position with the...

Recap of the Swamp-Access party debate

For those of you who missed the exciting debate between the Swamp and Access parties, here is a play-by-play brought to you by the...

UF to rename ISIS system to ‘HAMAS’

GAINESVILLE, FL – In the interest of respect to serious international issues, the University of Florida has decided to rename its Integrated Student Information...

Campus snap story fee to be added to tuition cost

Fees are increasing yet again for Fall 2015 in order to accommodate the new campus snap story. The story was originally only in service...

Fuchs announces plan to turn all RTS buses into monster trucks

In his first big action as president of the University of Florida, Kent Fuchs, UF’s newly installed president, has announced a complete and total...

Sports management major not in it for the money

GAINESVILLE, FL – Choosing to eschew the glamorous promise of a career with a sports management degree, earnest student Jim Truft stated at press...

Florida Gators to replace Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX

GAINESVILLE, Fla. – The NFL confirmed Friday that the UF football team will fly to Glendale, Az. on Sunday, Feb. 1 to face the...

Blissfully unaware IA student doesn’t know the truth

Remaining cheerfully ignorant of the morbid reality that surrounds him, pseudo-UF student Kyle Rickenbacher expressed to reporters on Monday general happiness with the Innovation...

FSU campus to be demolished

The Florida State University campus is set to be demolished following a crushing defeat in the Rose Bowl. The loss has left many students...