LITTLE HALL – Local nerdy girl, and chemical engineering sophomore, Susan Bennett, shocked her entire class when she showed up to class flaunting a new look. Everyone watched, speechless and slack-jawed, as she arrived to Calc 2 with no glasses and her hair let down.
“She’s beautiful!” Said a classmate
“She’s stunning!” Said another classmate
“Who IS she?” Asked a third classmate
Spurred on by the popular kids in class, Susan received a full makeover in order to get noticed by UF quarterback and total hottie, Chad Madden.
“I thought she was geeky and worthless, but now I realize she’s conventionally attractive!”
“I think I’m in love with her.”
Without her glasses, Susan is unable to see the board and learn during lecture, but she doesn’t have to anymore. Since her makeover, She has become the most popular girl at UF.
“Life is so much better now that I’ve taken off my glasses and let down my hair! Guys beg me to do my homework, Honorlock proctors let me cheat on the exams, and the professor already gave me a 100 on the final.”
Exam scores in her calculus class have inexplicably plummeted in the weeks following Susan’s transformation. Attendance, however, has spiked.
“No one is learning anything. The whole class just stares at her for the full 50 minutes.”
Said Professor Chui
“But can you blame them? Her hair is down and she isn’t wearing glasses. Gorgeous!”
At press time, Susan showed up to Calc 2 wearing both her glasses and her hair in a bun. With the help of a nerdy boy love interest and her childhood best friend, Susan realized that she was beautiful just the way she was.