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10 reasons Pokey Stix are better than a girlfriend

1. Pokey Stix are 60% cheese. My girlfriend isn’t even 10% cheese!   2. Pokey Stix don’t spend $300 ON MY CREDIT CARD AT JC PENNY!   3....

Meet your elected SG squirrels

With the frenzy of elections over, take some time to get to know your newly elected exec board.   Vice President - Mr. Fluffybottoms Edward Fluffybottoms is...

An open letter to the Alligator: will you be my Valentine?

Hi Alligator, I know our past has been rocky and we have a host of differences. I don’t report on crimes, print every day, or...

Chipotle sends leftover food to Gator Dining

GAINESVILLE, FL—In a stroke of guacamole-induced kindness, Chipotle had pledged to send its tasty, uninspected leftovers to the hallowed halls of Gator Dining. In an...