10 reasons Pokey Stix are better than a girlfriend

1. Pokey Stix are 60% cheese. My girlfriend isn’t even 10% cheese!

2. Pokey Stix don’t spend $300 ON MY CREDIT CARD AT JC PENNY!

3. Pokey Stix don’t make me wear a cardigan to that stupid party I don’t even want to go to and then get really drunk and see their ex and then start crying and I have to Uber us home.

4. My girlfriend gets mad when I dip her in garlic sauce.

5. When your girlfriend is asleep at 2 am, Pokey Stix are there for you.

6. Pokey Stix don’t talk through Star Wars.

7. Pokey Stix don’t go through your text messages while you’re drunk.

8. You can eat more than one Pokey Stix at once.

9. Pokey Stix don’t mind if you have a guys’ night out.

10. Pokey Stix don’t expect you to remember something from 6 months ago.