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Plant Sentenced to Death on Dorm Windowsill

A local coleus was selected from a UF plant drop, blissfully unaware that being handled by exploratory freshman Kendra Cotton is synonymous with certain...

Ominous Broadcast Interrupts Homecoming Game

Yesterday morning, the football stadium was ablaze in orange and blue colors as fans cheered and music played. Suddenly, silence fell as...

Depressed Student Eats Subway Five Days in a Row

A geology sophomore was recently spotted at the Rawlings Subway, the saddest Subway of them all, a full five days in a...

Krishna Ditches Refills, Causes Local Recession

The city of Gainesville has been consumed by a frenzy of unemployment, inflation and rising store prices after Krishna lunch ruled out...

UF Health Requiring Students Verify Covid Status with Pinky Swear

In the interest of protecting the health and welfare of students, UF Health has implemented a new protocol for validating data gathered...

Engineering Student Reinvents Wheel

Sophomore engineering students Cody Sinclair and Marc Thompkins have broken ground with a brand-new invention. “You know the saying,...

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Mom’s Inspirational Gift Really Turns Semester Around

One Mom’s gift to her son at the University of Florida really seems to have made an impact on his semester, according to a...

Grad Student Still Reminiscing about Study Abroad from 4 Years Ago

Studying abroad is an incredible opportunity that allows students to experience foreign food, culture, and education. For McKayla James, a grad student at the...

UF student graduates, raises family before SNAP van finally arrives

A special report was brought to the Crocodile recently regarding an incident that took place in 1985, where a UF alumnus claims that his...

Tropical storm most exciting thing to happen in Gainesville over summer

In an unexpected turn of events, something interesting has happened in Gainesville over the summer with the landfall of a tropical storm. Tropical Storm Colin,...

Portal to Hell Found in Little Hall Bathroom

In news unsurprising to anyone who has ever entered a Little Hall bathroom, a demonic force has reportedly ripped open the fabric or space-time...

Senior forgets to take picture with Bull Gator, not allowed to graduate

One fewer Gator will be receiving their diploma during this spring’s graduation ceremony after a student made one tragic mistake this past week. Jennifer McMahey,...

UF Homecoming Parade Gets Stuck Behind RTS Bus

UF Parade Analysts have announced that the homecoming parade scheduled for this afternoon will be delayed at least 4 hours due to being stuck...

Wow! This Study Abroad Student Became Bilingual In 10 Days!

One student who participated in a study abroad program over summer has shocked and awed her peers this week by returning this semester completely...