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Plant Sentenced to Death on Dorm Windowsill

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A local coleus was selected from a UF plant drop, blissfully unaware that being handled by exploratory freshman Kendra Cotton is synonymous with certain...
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Ominous Broadcast Interrupts Homecoming Game

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Yesterday morning, the football stadium was ablaze in orange and blue colors as fans cheered and music played. Suddenly, silence fell as...
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Depressed Student Eats Subway Five Days in a Row

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A geology sophomore was recently spotted at the Rawlings Subway, the saddest Subway of them all, a full five days in a...
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Krishna Ditches Refills, Causes Local Recession

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The city of Gainesville has been consumed by a frenzy of unemployment, inflation and rising store prices after Krishna lunch ruled out...
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UF Health Requiring Students Verify Covid Status with Pinky Swear

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In the interest of protecting the health and welfare of students, UF Health has implemented a new protocol for validating data gathered...
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Engineering Student Reinvents Wheel

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Sophomore engineering students Cody Sinclair and Marc Thompkins have broken ground with a brand-new invention. “You know the saying,...
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Wow! This Study Abroad Student Became Bilingual In 10 Days!

One student who participated in a study abroad program over summer has shocked and awed her peers this week by returning this semester completely...
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Good Life student reaches enlightenment

  After completing his Analytical Essay the Sunday night before it was due, “What is the Good Life?” student Tyler Oram successfully found enlightenment. In...
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Breaking: Treon Harris under investigation after eating Flintstones vitamin

In the wake of Will Grier’s recent suspension for the use of performance-enhancing drugs, it is now Florida’s new starting quarterback Treon Harris who...
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Senior forgets to take picture with Bull Gator, not allowed to graduate

One fewer Gator will be receiving their diploma during this spring’s graduation ceremony after a student made one tragic mistake this past week. Jennifer McMahey,...
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Engineering student 3D prints first girlfriend

Senior engineering student Jordan Harris’ work propelled science to new heights today after he told some friends over coffee that they had successfully 3D...
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Freshman Experiences First Day of Rainesville Jokes

A freshman has finally been initiated as a UF student after being treated to his first day of hearing the entire student body’s exhausted...
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Mom’s Inspirational Gift Really Turns Semester Around

One Mom’s gift to her son at the University of Florida really seems to have made an impact on his semester, according to a...
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Shands in Need of More Orange and Blue Blood Donations

For the first time in decades the Gator Nation appears to be facing a shortage in school pride as SHANDS begs students to bleed...
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